One of my favorite people in life is my Ma. When I was growing up, she would tuck me in every night (because, to this day, I can’t fall asleep unless I get tucked) and say “count five people who love you unconditionally.” I usually said ‘you, Ba, Cristina, Samson and Mimmico.” Mimmico probably didn’t love me unconditionally, in hindsight, as cats usually want to claw my Elmira eyes out. Sometimes I’d sub in grandma, or Chiara, or Nouna Lucy.
When the getting was tough and I was an angsty teenager my mom would still tell me to count those people. Sometimes I’d say there weren’t five people who loved me in the world. Or that it’s sad only five people love me. And she always said that I’ll be lucky if, in my life, I can always count five people who love me.
Now I can appreciate how right she was about that. There are people who didn’t grow up with the same love security blanket I had who don’t know how to love because of it, or don’t know how to let other people love them. Or they’re just fine but don’t know how great it is to have so much love in your life it’s choking you at times.
I was upset the other day (see wikipedia entry for PMS) and called my mom to complain about it. She said “take a deep breath and count five people who love you.” Those words feel like home and I don’t need to feel homesick because my mom still speaks them to me, even if it’s over the phone.
i am glad you are missing ma, bc she is about to give you a week’s worth of face time. Enjoy! xx
i need to do this to myself daily. it will become an important part of my life.