Okay. Last time I went there was five years ago. But what I remember of it, and what I kept saying after I left, was Rio is paradise. That’s all I kept saying. Rio is paradise. I wish I would’ve studied abroad in Rio instead of BA. I will move to Rio immediately. All I want to do is be in Rio for my entire life. It was a place that existed my whole life, without me knowing about it, while I was existing elsewhere completely unaware that this paradise, where life is 1000x better, was going on. But then I found out about it and every day that I was not in Rio it hurt to know that beautiful Brazilian life full of sucos and pineapples and grilled cheese sticks on the beach was going on without me.
That was five years ago. So who knows what’s changed there and how I have changed that might make the equation different. It feels like a very distant memory and eventually the hurt that I felt for existing separately and simultaneously from paradise on earth faded. I fear that I will go back there and realize that there has been a gaping lack-of-Rio hole in my life for the past five years and that the choices I’ve made for myself that have led me further from Brazil have been a terrible mistake. I am not concerned that I will “not come back” because that is not an option. But I am highly concerned that I will rekindle the flame of “I want to get the fuck out of here.” Not because I dislike San Francisco. Because I’m addicted to living in new places and learning how to be a local. And I want to learn how to be a Carioca. SO BADLY!
Tags: brazil, carioca, happiness, ipanema, leblon, pineapple, rio, San Francisco, suco, travel
..if the neon thong fits..